I am going to bend spoons with my mind. When I do, I promise that the people around me will feel strange, very strange, very uncomfortable for many hours. And they will think that I am crazy. But I promise it will be for something completely good: For a great good.

Yes, because I am the greatest spoonsmith of them all.

You are crazy though, that’s what I’m saying.

No, I’m not. I did not have a mental breakdown. I didn’t do anything like that. You are the worst.

Well, I have read about you and your “mental breakdown” (but I hope you just told me that it was a joke).

Yes, I did tell you that. I didn’t have a mental breakdown. I just did it so much. I’m so sorry you feel like that when you are looking at my work. I’m a bit crazy: As you probably already know, I am a spoonsmith.

But I see why you would think that.

No, they are only rumors. And even then, no spoonsmith. They’re like those terrible-sounding songs from this or that metal band.

The metal band, eh? So you must have been in another band. How about The Misfits…?

Yes. Well, that’s not true. That’s just a rumor. But I did write some songs for The Misfits on the side, and I’ve been reading them for over a year now, so I believe them, too.

Do you like metal?

I love Metallica. They’re an amazing band. I have a friend in London who is also a fan, and he says Metallica fans are really rare: They’re a different kind of fans from the ones that like other, more traditional metal. And a lot of them aren’t Metalhead. That’s the main difference.

You can tell.

Why do you think so many Metalheads aren’t metalheads?

Because most of them are terrible people, who live somewhere else. If they were Metalheads, they would be so disappointed about everything that happened in the last 100 years and have nothing to do with it. There are so many more things that happen to me today. People get very interested in all kinds of things that used to be boring! And I hate that.

The internet says that Metalheads are weird and

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